Tag Archives: AJ art journal

Sky above me

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Sky-above-me

Hello friends

I hope all is good with you, I am fine.

By now I should be well on the way to recovering from round 4 of chemo but we had a slight set back.  I was due for round 4 on 2 January, but on 1 January I started to feel unwell.  This has nothing to do with any late night or consumption of alcohol on 31 December as I went to bed early and I haven’t drunk alcohol for years.  I had a bad night on 1/2 January and woke up on 2nd with a high temperature.  I still got ready to go to the hospital and by the time I left my temperature was down to normal.  When I got to the chemo suite I told them I’d been unwell and was asked lots of questions, then there were a couple of telephone conversations with the doctor and it was decided to postpone the chemo for 10 days and to put me on antibiotics in case I was ‘brewing’ an infection.

Since then I’ve been feeling OK but still very tired all the time.  Sometimes the lack of energy gets me down as I achieve very little in a whole day. Yesterday the sum total of my activities resulted in a trip to the vets to get Bill Kat sorted out and I managed to do a pile of ironing – that’s it, that’s all I did and it wore me out!

I had a blood test on Friday and as long as my blood count is OK I’ll be having chemo again tomorrow.  Wish me luck!  I’m still only half way through the treatment and it’s getting quite hard now.  Hopefully the injections I’ll get to boost my blood count will help with the tiredness this time.

So Billy Kat got in the wars again yesterday.  T got up at about 05:30am to let the cats out and then came back to bed.  I got up at about 8am and by then both cats were home again, I didn’t take much notice of them apart from putting out some food for them.  T got up at about 10am and then got cross with me because he noticed that Billy had a bloody eye and I hadn’t noticed it as clearly I should have done!

We phoned the vets and they agreed to see him almost immediately so we packed him up in the carrying box and drove down the road to the vets.  Both of our cats HATE being in the car.  They don’t mind being in the box and they don’t mind seeing the vet but the short trip there is tortuous to them.  Billy whined and howled all the way.  The vet checked out his eye, and he has a big scratch just above his eye and another just below, but fortunately no scratch on the eyeball itself.  He was given a shot of antibiotic and we have some drops to put in twice a day for the next few days.  Today he is looking a bit better although his eye is swollen and he’s not very happy that he’s been ‘grounded’ until it heals up.

We don’t know how the injury happened, he could have been fighting with his brother (as they don’t like each other much), another cat that had strayed onto ‘Bill’s’ territory or he could have caught a bird or rat that put up a fight.  That’s what happened the last time he got injured, he caught a large rat but it bit him and did a fair bit of damage before he managed to kill it.  For a while after that he was more timid and home loving, but clearly he’d forgotten all about that when he went out to patrol his territory yesterday.

The page above is the front page of my Warrior Women Journal which is finished now (yay!) and there’s just the back cover left to share.

Stay well and happy friends

Big love

AJ 🙂 xxx

 

 

 

 

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2015 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Happy New Year!

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Strength and Dignity

Hello friends!

Wishing you a very happy and healthy new year!

Well 2014 was certainly a year to remember but I am so looking forward to the new year, to getting through the next 3 rounds of chemo then, getting good results on the regression or elimination of the cancer and finally getting my health and strength back.

Despite my being the Christmas Grinch I actually had a good time, I saw the French side of my family just before Christmas that is my brother, his wife and my nephew and niece. On Christmas Day T and I had lunch with my parents and then in the afternoon my older brother and his wife joined us.  I got lots of really lovely gifts too and I’d like to thank all my family and friends for their generosity.

This week I’ve been feeling a lot better but when I had a blood test yesterday my white cell count was a bit low, so that now has to be monitored.

On 2 January I go in for round 4 of chemo, the drug that was taken out last time has been put back in but at half the strength or quantity I had previously.  In my ‘take home’ pack this time as well as the three lots of medication I will also have some fibre sachets and some injections that will need to be given to me on the fifth day after the chemo one a day for 5 days.  I have been told that I can give the injections myself and they will show me how, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to jab myself with a needle.  If I can’t then the district nurse will come and do it for me.  These injections are something to help build up the white cells.  Ah well that’s something different to get used to  😐

2014 has been a crazy year – we finally got our new kitchen installed (by ourselves – it took us 3 months to complete! ) after waiting nearly 20 years; the summer delivered some lovely sunny weather and that always makes me feel good; the local history group was as busy as ever with lots of exhibitions and events throughout the year; I really enjoyed the Arts Festival; I got to go to a Buckingham Palace garden party, I got a new job and pay rise within the company I work for, unfortunately I only did the job for a short time before I became sick but when I’m well I am looking forward to doing the new role and doing something that will be more challenging and rewarding than the data inputting I was doing for the previous 18 months; I have received lots of love and support from family and friends both near and far and I’ve realised that there are lessons to be learnt and good things that can be taken from bad situations.

Still, roll on 2015 and hopefully getting back to normal.

The page above is the last page of the Warrior Women Journal and was completed a few weeks ago. I have also now finished the cover and will share that with you over the next two posts.  I like the bright colours and the smiling warrior woman.

Today I am especially thinking about my friend Ruth who I met online a few weeks ago. She has had a much longer and harder journey than I have so far but she has faced each challenge with grace and dignity.  Right now things are really tough for her and she’s off line and taking time for herself.  I am so grateful to have met you Ruth and I’m holding you in my thoughts.  Onwards and Upwards.

Thanks again to you all for your support and love and please know that I wish every single one of you all the very best for the coming year – let’s make it a good one 🙂

Take care of yourselves

Big love

AJ 🙂 xxx

 

 

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

Don’t be fooled

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Don't-be-fooled

 

Hello friends,

Sorry it’s been a while since I last blogged so I hope all is good with you.  I am doing very well at the moment.

It took me ages to get over the second lot of chemo, I thought I would be OK to return to work after a week but I still felt very tired so I went to see the doctor and was signed off work for 2 months!  I’m a bit disappointed as I wanted to carry on as normal for as long as I could but the reality is even when I’m feeling OK I still don’t have masses of energy and maybe it will be good to just rest for a while.

The past few days I have been feeling much better and have been trying to catch up with things that just got left (like housework, christmas shopping and art) while I was feeling so tired but I am making very slow progress and in fact I haven’t done any art since I was last in the chemo suite.

The page above is from my Warrior Women Journal and I completed it a few weeks ago (fortunately or I’d have nothing to share with you today). The quote says “When life feels overwhelming don’t be fooled into thinking that more action is needed.  To create order and peace get quiet, go inside.  You will find everything you need right there”  I’m sorry I don’t know who to attribute this quote to, but I didn’t make it up, I’m not that clever!

Today I went and saw some of my friends and colleagues from the Ryde Arts Festival team at the Green Wreath making event at St Thomas Church and then I went to visit my friend Sally-Ann who is emigrating to Ireland next week.  Sally-Ann and her family (husband and son) are busy packing up the entire contents of their house to ship off to Ireland.  I was pleased to see her before she sets off but I could see there was still loads of packing to do so I only stayed long enough for a cup of tea and a short chat.  I don’t think I would be brave enough to emigrate so I am full of admiration for them and wish them well for their new life and adventure.

Being off work means that I am finding it difficult to keep track of the days and when things need to be done.  I am sleeping a lot now.  Before I got the cancer I used to go to bed early and get up early, now I go to bed early and get up late so half the day has gone before I really start to get going – it’s a weird life!  Next week the important things to remember are a friend coming to visit me on Tuesday, seeing the consultant on Wednesday and then chemo all day on Thursday.  I wonder if it will knock me out of action again this time? Probably, but we’ll just have to see.  Still at least having it next week should mean that I am over the worst of it by Christmas.  Lets hope so anyway.

Seasons’s greetings to you all I hope you have a lovely Christmas and I wish you all the best for the New Year.

Big love

AJ xxx

 

 

 

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

Weary…

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12

You got this, Keep going

Hello friends

I hope all is good with you, I am doing fine, but I am really weary.

I had my second round of chemo 4 days ago and it has surprised me just how extremely tired I felt afterwards.  It is pretty tiring just sitting in a reclining chair for 7 hours while various drugs are dripped into my system, but let’s be honest many people have to endure far worse things than that and it’s all for my own good.  I knew that chemo would make me tired but after the first round I was OK until I stopped taking the steroids but this time the fatique hit me almost straight away.  So I’ve been doing lots of resting.  I spent most of Friday (the first day after the chemo) just wrapped up on the sofa, either sleeping or watching tv.  On Saturday I ventured out for a walk in the town and tried to do some shopping, but by the time I got home I was shattered.  Later my brother and his wife, Mu, who came over from France for the weekend, came to visit me.  It was lovely to see them and we had a good chat.  They gave me some really lovely hand and moisturising cream which is good because I’ve also been told that chemo dries out the skin.  After they left I spent the rest of the day resting.

Yesterday we all had lunch at my parents house, that is Mum & Dad, Mike & Mu (from France), Dave and Jen (my other brother and sister-in-law) and T and me.  Mum did a good job of creating roast dinner for 8 especially as 4 of us don’t eat meat and we had to have something different from the rest.  Mum never thinks her dinners are good enough, (but honestly Mum it was good and) all the plates were empty by the end of the meal.  I was so exhausted though I didn’t really participate too well in the socialising, but I think they all understood.

Today I’ve been feeling a bit better but I stayed off work to have more rest.  I did go for a short walk this afternoon because it was cold, but dry and sunny and I felt like I needed to move my legs and later I did a bit of easy sorting out of papers.  I’m not sure how it will be tomorrow as I’ve no more steroids to take so I may be even more fatigued, but I’ll just have to wait and see how I feel when I get up.  I would like to get back to work before the end of the week though if I can.

The good news is I haven’t felt ill just tired and a few other minor side effects but nothing serious.  Being tired means you have to rest and that’s all right. It does mean that there are lot’s things that are not getting done, but that’s OK too – apart from the Christmas shopping which is beginning to cause me some anxiety.

So rest is good and sometimes it helps to quiet everything down and just centre on the moment.  That happens mostly for me when I just sit and doodle in my journal.  This Warrior Women journal is really special to me it’s really helping me focus on how I can best look after myself and learn from this journey.

The image above is from the warrior women journal and I currently have about the same amount of hair as the girl in the picture.  My hair came out really fast but I’ve been left with a very thin layer of stubble, maybe that will come out this week?  Do you know what? Even having no hair isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, it’s just strange, a new experience, not exactly fun yet, but I’m working on that 😉

The quote says “Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers ever so softly “You got this, keep going'”

I hope all is good and wonderful in your part of the world.

Big love

AJ xxx

 

 

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Embrace the Glorious Mess that you are

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Glorious Mess

Hello friends

I hope all is well with you, I’m doing fine.

It’s been a while so I thought I should update my blog.  Here is another page from my Warrior Women journal.  I am learning acceptance – sometimes you don’t need to put up a ferocious fight in order to overcome life’s difficulties, sometimes you just need to accept things as they are.

Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness.

Eckhart Tolle

 

After round 1 of chemo I didn’t feel too bad, nowhere near as good as I felt before it, but nevertheless not too bad.  I even went to work the next day but I didn’t get there until 11am and everyone was out of the office and I had nothing to do so I left again at 3pm. Still at least I made the effort.

I had medication to take in the week following the chemo to help with the side-effects.  The side effects I was aware of were nausea (but I had tablets for that), tiredness, aching legs and everything tasted strange but I certainly did not feel ill.

I had enough steroids to last me 5 days and then on day 6 which was last Wednesday I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. I actually got up early and started getting ready for work, but everything was a struggle, and after I found myself just lying on the sofa for half an hour I realised I couldn’t go into work. I phoned in and told my boss I needed to take sick leave and went back to bed where I stayed all day.  I did get up at about 4pm, had a bath, put clean pyjamas on and went back to bed.  Finally got up at 8pm and watched tv for a couple of hours.  I took the next day off work too and went back in on Friday.

Over the weekend I was OK and we took Mum and Dad out to lunch on Sunday, by that I mean that I drove but in fact they treated us to the lunch.  I ate far too much and my stomach was uncomfortable afterwards.

I’ve been back at work this week and on Tuesday evening I went to a Remembrance Day service held in the chapel in the cemetery.  My house is actually in the cemetery so I only had a short distance to walk.  I saw a lot of my friends from the local history group there but I didn’t stay long after it finished because I felt very tired.  Yesterday I was also struggling with tiredness and today I’ve phoned in sick again because I just don’t have the energy to do much at all.  I think my hair is beginning to fall out now too and my scalp feels uncomfortable 😦

I went to see the ‘wig’ lady the other day, but I really don’t know if I want to wear a wig, a couple have been ordered on approval but I did tell her that I’d have to have T with me when I went to see them because he will tell me honestly if they look terrible.  I’ve a feeling that wearing a wig all day will be uncomfortable too and I just don’t think they look realistic. Well not the ones I can afford anyway.  I’ve got head scarves and hats ready for when I need them.

Next week I have to see the consultant haematologist on Wednesday and then on Thursday all day at the chemo suite for round 2 – ding, ding!

So that’s where I am at the moment, I feel like I’m doing OK just wish I had a bit more energy but we can’t always have what we want can we and I know I am luckier than many people so I’m not complaining.

Wishing you good health and happiness my friends

Big love

AJ 🙂

xxx
© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

My Kind of People

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Crazy People

Hello friends

How are you all today, I hope it’s good.

I am fine, I had my first round of chemotherapy on Thursday, it took over 7 hours because I had a slight reaction to the antibody (that’s the bit that locks onto the cancer cells and flags them up as targets for the other drugs), so it could only be dripped in very slowly. When the antibody was finally in it took just over an hour to get all the other stuff in. Because of this reaction it means all the other treatments (another 5) will also take that long.  The plus side of this is that I’ll have plenty of time for doodling and that’s never a bad thing 🙂

So far I’m feeling OK and I went in to work on Friday. I am still taking meds that I bought home with me, they finish in a few days time and I’ve been told I might feel a bit unwell for a few days after that, then I’ll start feeling better, then I see the doctor for a check up, and then on November 20th we start round 2.

I have a feeling that the problem with my ‘none’ treatment on Wednesday was due to staff shortages and overwork in the NHS so I’m not going to complain.  I think someone just overlooked my paperwork because they had too much to do.  I know it’s shocking that it could happen, and fortunately for me the consequences were only upset and inconvenience, but I don’t want anyone being ‘hung out to dry’ for that. They know it’s happened and it is being investigated but I don’t need to add anger to the equation.

I’ve had a really good day today, the weather has been warm and sunny and early this morning I received a package from my FB friend Iain ‘Oli’ Oliver containing this wonderful limited edition print by artist Jamie Reid:

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

I took the photo under artificial light so the colours are not true in the photo, but it’s bold, bright and uplifting and I LOVE it, thank you ‘Oli’ ❤ It brought me JOY 🙂

I had a slow and lazy morning pottering about – making sure I took meds at the right time, doing some washing, making a batch of smoothie, having breakfast, taking more meds and getting showered and dressed.  Then I wandered in to town and did some shopping and when I got home there was another package waiting for me.

 

This time it was a the book Dizzy Spells by the artist David Shillinglaw:

Dizzy Spells

I ordered the book about a week ago I think and I was so happy to receive it today.  I love David’s art, especially his wall murals, they are so colourful and cheerful.  There’s lots of symbolism and repetition in his art that just speaks to me at a deep level.

I had made tentative enquiries about getting him to come to Ryde, the town where I live, to paint a wall for our local arts festival next year.  We have a perfect wall that is in desperate need of a piece of wonderful artwork but I have to be honest I’m not really sure how I would get permission from the owners to have it painted (maybe just ask?) or raise the funds to pay for the project, but I’m sure it would have been worth the effort.  Then I got hit with the cancer so now everything is on hold until I recover in that regard. Never mind I can still go on enjoying his artwork even if it’s not here in my town and Dizzy Spells is a little gem of a book, full of black an white illustrations from David’s journals.  He is very clever with his use of words too, it makes me smile.  Thank you David 🙂

And that brings us neatly to my little offering of art at the top of the page, it’s a page in my journal inspired by ‘Teesha Moore’s Amazing 16 Page Journal‘ and the quote says: ‘Life is about finding the people who are your kind of crazy’.  And I reckon that Teesha Moore and her husband Tracy (both of whom I’ve met), Iain ‘Oli’ Oliver and David Shillinglaw (who I haven’t met) are definitely my kind of crazy people. 🙂

Take good care of yourselves and I’ll see you soon.

Big Love

AJ 🙂

 

 

 

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

A Woman of Strength

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Woman of Strength

Hello friends

I hope all is good with you.  I am doing fine although today has been a bit of a challenge.

The image above is from my Warrior Women Journal and it is to remind me that whatever difficulties I face will only make me stronger. If you click on the image you can see it bigger.

After my last post I received a letter from the hospital telling me I had an appointment at the chemo therapy unit for 11:00 am on Monday for an education session and then the first round of chemo today (Wednesday 29 October) starting at 09:30.  I was impressed that the appointment on Monday was half an hour after my appointment for the ECG so we’d only have to make one trip and cover two appointments.  We arrived at Cardiology in good time for the appointment (as we always do) and then sat and waited and waited (as we always do).  At 11:00 I still had not been called in for the scan so I sent T off to the Chemo unit to tell them I would be late. Eventually got called in and had the scan and then we made our way to Chemo where we met a lovely nurse who explained all about what was going to happen when the treatment started.  The first day was going to be a full day and I would be monitored constantly to make sure I was OK.  If the first day went OK then subsequent treatments should be quicker.  I was also shown the treatment room and introduced to the team.  I have to say that of all the (many) parts of the hospital I have now visited the people in the Chemo suite are the most friendly, professional and caring people I’ve met.  So although I am slightly anxious about the Chemo I am reassured that they will take good care of me.

Today my brother picked us up from home and dropped us off at the hospital for the 09:30 appointment.  We waited in the waiting room with other patients before being called in to the treatment room.  After a while I noticed that everyone else  was having their blood pressure and pulse taken and being prepared for, or already receiving, treatment, but I wasn’t.  This was strange because I knew I was going to be there all day and most of the other patients were there for shorter visits.  Eventually I was told that they were waiting for my paperwork to come through and as soon as it did they would start treatment.  Then at about 11:00 I was told that my consultant had forgotten to write the prescription for my Chemo, but it was being done right now and as soon as it was made up they would commence treatment.  Then at 11:30 I was told the consultant was not available to write the prescription as she was with another patient and therefore they would not be able to treat me today but could I come back tomorrow.  I think I said something that was fairly loud and had a few expletives in it when I was told this and T got really, really cross with them and had to leave very quickly. They were all very apologetic and the staff in the Chemo suite were as angry about it as we were.

The consultant who forgot to write my script is supposed to be in charge of my case but I am not feeling very inspired or confident now that something this important was not picked up. Surely my care cannot be down to just one person? I was told I was under a whole team of people so how come someone else didn’t check everything was in place for today? I am thinking of putting in an official complaint but no doubt there will be a lot of excuses and buck passing and we’ll never get to the bottom of it.  I’m really not happy with what happened today.  I was unable to contact my brother to get him to come back and collect us so we had to get a taxi home (and even that was a hassle and it took over an hour to arrive).

Sometimes I think my life story has been written by some surrealist comedy writer with a very warped sense humour!

OK that’s the rant over and now I’m going to be calm and start all over again tomorrow.  I need to stay positive because anger and anxiety won’t do me any good, it just saps my energy and puts me in a bad place.  What I really need now is calm and positive energy.

Stay healthy and happy everyone.

Big love

AJ xxx 🙂

 

 

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

Moving forward slowly…

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13

Hello friends!

I hope you are all doing well, here everything is fine, progress is slow but things are moving forward and in the meantime I’ve finished the Little Book of Cosmic Maps 🙂

Back & Front Cover

For me doodling is a really good way to pass the time..

Spread 1

Spread 2

Spread 3

Spread 4

As you can see I’ve had a bit of time on my hands recently…

I had the PET scan last week, it was OK just a bit of a hassle, it took 2 hours to get to the hospital then I had to wait an hour before I was called in, they gave me the injection of radioactive glucose and I was left on my own for another hour before I was called in for the scan.  It took about 35 minutes and then we were free to go.

I was told that I would be slightly radioactive for about 6 hours and was to avoid contact with pregnant women or children.  However I was still allowed to travel home on public transport (another couple of hours).  I didn’t stroke my two cats until the next day, but it didn’t seem to bother them.

Yesterday we went for another appointment with the consultant haematologist and she told me that the results of two of the three tests on my bone marrow are back and neither of them found the cancer in my bones.  The final test is more vigorous and the results of that are not back yet.  But so far it’s looking good.

The PET scan didn’t find any more tumours in my body (phew!) but although the tumour in my mouth has shrunk the scan found residual lesions in my jaw (I’m not sure but I think that means scaring).  So although the tumour is almost gone I still have the disease in my blood but it’s in it’s early stages and there’s a good chance that with treatment I can fully recover. So the plan (worked out by this mysterious team of invisible experts) is for me to have 6 rounds of chemo and then radiotherapy on my jaw.  It feels like I’ve been telling people for over a month now that I’ll be starting chemo ‘next week’ and that hasn’t happened but it now looks like it will start during the week commencing 3 November.  In the meantime I have to sign the consent form and have an ECG just to make sure my heart is OK. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the nurse who is going to tell me all about what’s going to happen and on Saturday I have to visit my local doctor’s surgery to have a flu jab because they want that done before the chemo starts.

Having chemo-therapy is not something I am going into lightly and in truth I’m not looking forward to it but …. ‘needs must’ as they say, I’m just not sure what to expect.

I’ve been feeling so well for the past two weeks and enjoying not being at work but tomorrow I am going to go back to work because I reckon if I take too much time off I won’t want to go back at all!  Anyway it’s pointless, and unfair on work colleagues, to have sick leave when I am not if feeling sick.  Fortunately I have good employers, I’ve worked for them for a very long time and, up until now, I have a pretty good attendance record.  I think they will be flexible around my hospital appointments and will be OK with me having time off if the chemo (or the cancer) makes me unwell over the next few months.

So all in all I am doing well at the moment, and I am staying positive and upbeat.  I hope all is good with you where ever you are in the world.

Big love

AJ 🙂

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

Cosmic Maps and where I am right now

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19

Cosmic Maps

Hello friends

I hope all is good with you.

Thank you all for all the love and support you have been sending – positive energy is a powerful thing and I’m grateful to have all you people in my life right now.

So, here is where we are today but first just a quick recap.  On 10 September I had a biopsy taken from a mass in my mouth and on 17 September I was told I have Large B Cell Lymphoma – a cancer of the blood.  The next day I had blood samples taken and on 26 September I had a CT scan.  All the time the mass in my mouth was growing and I had to go onto a liquid diet because I could no longer chew any food.

I started making up superfood smoothies and drinking a litre a day.  The smoothies always contain fresh green vegetables, 2 teaspoons of ground up buckwheat, about an inch of ground up turmeric root, desert spoon of hemp oil, teaspoon of chia seeds, desert spoon of probiotic yoghurt, sprinkle of ground cinnamon; then I add fresh and/or frozen fruit to make is taste nice and coconut water to thin it down to a drinkable consistency.  I have to say I have been feeling great since starting this diet.

On Monday 29 September I saw a consultant haematologist at the hospital and she was supposed to tell me then all about my disease and the treatment plan, but that didn’t happen as the results of the scan and blood tests were still not available.  She did give me a quick examination.  She asked to look at the mass in my mouth and I warned her it looked disgusting,but her reaction of “Eugh!  That’s big and looks horrible” shocked me a little.  I already had the feeling that the tumour was shrinking by then but I didn’t say anything. So we got no definitive answers that day and we left the hospital a bit disappointed but understanding that the treatment needs to target the problem so the more information they have the better.

My next appointment, ‘by which time we hope to have the answers’, was supposed to be yesterday at 12:30 but on Tuesday I received a phone call asking me to go in at 09:30 instead so they could take a bone marrow biopsy after which I would be seeing a different consultant haematologist.

This consultant confirmed that the first biopsy had returned the cancer diagnosis and the results of the blood tests had confirmed the diagnosis.  The CT scan only found the cancer in my jaw bone, causing the mass in my mouth, and nowhere else in my body – Good News!!! Two more tests are required so that they can accurately ‘stage’ the disease – the bone marrow biopsy and I will also need to have a PET scan sometime in the next two weeks.  She said that in the meantime they can start treating the tumour in my mouth and I told her that it has already gone.  This is true since 29 September the tumour has completely shrunk and I no longer have any swelling inside my mouth.  My tooth is a bit wobbly and seems to be exposed at the roots, but all the swelling has, for the time being at least, gone.

The consultant looked at me with disbelief.  She asked me if I had been taking Steroids and I said I hadn’t had any treatment, then she checked she was actually talking to the correct patient (confirmed).  She said she had seen the tumour on the scan and that it was very unusual for a tumour to disappear without treatment.

In the light of this new development we agreed to wait until all the results are in before starting treatment.  So the bone marrow has been taken for analysis, I’ll be having the PET scan soon and more blood will be taken for retesting.  My next appointment is 21 October and I will probably start treatment soon after that.

It is such a relief that my mouth feels almost normal now after weeks discomfort, but don’t worry I am a realist and I understand that the tumour was a symptom of a much bigger underlying issue that is going to have to be dealt with in the near future.  It just feels like I’ve been given a breathing space and a bit more time to prepare myself for what lies ahead. I’m in a good place right now.

The image above is another spread from my Little Book of Cosmic Maps.

Take good care of yourselves

Big love

AJ xxx

 

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Feeling loved and grateful :-)

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7

All is Good

Hello friends

I hope you are all keeping well, happy and enjoying life.

Ever since I got my cancer diagnosis on 17 September my husband, family and close friends have rallied around and given me masses of support and love.  Then when I decided to share the news here, on my Facebook page and in a couple of FB groups I belong to the messages of love, support and positive energy have been almost overwhelming.  I am so grateful to everyone who has taken the time to send me messages and I truly have been feeling the love.  THANK YOU ❤

Of course I am still in limbo as I don’t know what the results of all the tests will be and I am preparing myself for whatever the news is next week, but in the meantime I am feeling just great.  The horrible and disgusting mass in my mouth has (without any treatment) now shrunk and I have very little swelling under my teeth, I feel much more comfortable and I can now eat properly as long as the food is soft and does not require much chewing.  For the past two weeks I’ve been living on my superfood smoothies and soup, but today I get to eat a proper meal, yay!

Today has been a lovely day, sunny and warm and after a late start I spent an hour making up today’s batch of ‘slush’ which contains lots of fresh, organic vegetables and fruit, then I took a stroll down the town and looked in a few shops.  I even bought myself some comfy clothes that will be ideal for just hanging out at home.  I’m guessing there will be quite a lot of just hanging about at home if/when I start the chemo-therapy so why not have comfy clothes to do that in?  Then I popped in to see Mum and Dad, just to check they are doing OK.  I think Mum was the person hit hardest by my health news, but we are all trying to be positive and optimistic now.

Now I’m back home I’m waiting for T to serve up dinner.  It smells very appetizing. Mmmmmm 🙂

I am creating a new journal of warrior women – these are the troops I am rallying around me ready for the battle ahead.  Some will be fierce like the one I shared here and others will be more supportive and gentle, buy they are all going to help me get through this in the months ahead.  The image above is the second spread from this journal and is to remind me that whatever happens and no matter how hard things get everything is always as it should be.

Thank you again to everyone who has contacted me with lovely messages, it has really helped me get over the initial terror and shock of the cancer diagnosis and to ready myself for what lies ahead.

See you soon

Big love

AJ 🙂

 

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.