Hello friends

I hope all is well with you, I’m doing fine.

It’s been a while so I thought I should update my blog.  Here is another page from my Warrior Women journal.  I am learning acceptance – sometimes you don’t need to put up a ferocious fight in order to overcome life’s difficulties, sometimes you just need to accept things as they are.

Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness.

After round 1 of chemo I didn’t feel too bad, nowhere near as good as I felt before it, but nevertheless not too bad.  I even went to work the next day but I didn’t get there until 11am and everyone was out of the office and I had nothing to do so I left again at 3pm. Still at least I made the effort.

I had medication to take in the week following the chemo to help with the side-effects.  The side effects I was aware of were nausea (but I had tablets for that), tiredness, aching legs and everything tasted strange but I certainly did not feel ill.

I had enough steroids to last me 5 days and then on day 6 which was last Wednesday I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. I actually got up early and started getting ready for work, but everything was a struggle, and after I found myself just lying on the sofa for half an hour I realised I couldn’t go into work. I phoned in and told my boss I needed to take sick leave and went back to bed where I stayed all day.  I did get up at about 4pm, had a bath, put clean pyjamas on and went back to bed.  Finally got up at 8pm and watched tv for a couple of hours.  I took the next day off work too and went back in on Friday.

Over the weekend I was OK and we took Mum and Dad out to lunch on Sunday, by that I mean that I drove but in fact they treated us to the lunch.  I ate far too much and my stomach was uncomfortable afterwards.

I’ve been back at work this week and on Tuesday evening I went to a Remembrance Day service held in the chapel in the cemetery.  My house is actually in the cemetery so I only had a short distance to walk.  I saw a lot of my friends from the local history group there but I didn’t stay long after it finished because I felt very tired.  Yesterday I was also struggling with tiredness and today I’ve phoned in sick again because I just don’t have the energy to do much at all.  I think my hair is beginning to fall out now too and my scalp feels uncomfortable 😦

I went to see the ‘wig’ lady the other day, but I really don’t know if I want to wear a wig, a couple have been ordered on approval but I did tell her that I’d have to have T with me when I went to see them because he will tell me honestly if they look terrible.  I’ve a feeling that wearing a wig all day will be uncomfortable too and I just don’t think they look realistic. Well not the ones I can afford anyway.  I’ve got head scarves and hats ready for when I need them.

Next week I have to see the consultant haematologist on Wednesday and then on Thursday all day at the chemo suite for round 2 – ding, ding!

So that’s where I am at the moment, I feel like I’m doing OK just wish I had a bit more energy but we can’t always have what we want can we and I know I am luckier than many people so I’m not complaining.

Wishing you good health and happiness my friends

Big love

AJ 🙂